Why Indeed
by zairoon
Summary: Conan was now ten, and Shinichi was tired. Almost thirty-six months of hiding and plotting and lying, and where was he? Still trapped in a child's body. Still hiding and plotting and lying. He was at his worst. But he kept everything hidden. Locked inside of him, where nobody could see. Well, one person did. But Shinichi didn't really mind him.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I do not own Detective Conan/Magic Kaito. _I wish I did though._

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It was December, and already the end of another year. He kept on telling himself that he didn't care. But if he was being honest, he really did. Three years had past already. Three years since an arrogant seventeen-year-old adolescent turned into a seven-year-old brat. Three years since one of the most brilliant young detectives disappeared off the surface of the earth, leaving behind him nothing but pain and sorrow to the one he cared the most about.

Conan was now ten, and Shinichi was tired.

Almost thirty-six months of hiding and plotting and lying, and where was he? Still trapped in a child's body. Still hiding and plotting and lying.

Nothing. Had. Changed.

Well.

Maybe a few things.

He was still friends with Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta, but they were not in his class anymore. Only Haibara followed him, as they both moved to two upper classes because Kobayashi-sensei thought they were too clever for their age. _If only she knew, right?_

The Shonen Tantei was still a thing though. Hell, it worked _so well_ in school that they created an official club to receive missions from their numerous "clients". Most of the time, Shinichi would simply guide the Detective Boys through the investigation by giving them a few hints, before backing away from the whole ordeal.

 _Playing_ detective was no longer amusing to him. He wanted to _be_ a detective.

He had also left the Mouri's Agency, along with Ran. She had left the nest a year ago to go study abroad, after a painful phone call with Shinichi during which she left him with an ultimatum. He was either coming back before she was leaving the country or she would move on with her life. After two years and seven random appearances, waiting for him was no longer an option.

"I will always love you, Shinichi," she had said then with a broken voice.

And he had said it back, before she hung up on his broken heart.

Of course, Shinichi never reappeared. And Conan stayed. In his small nine-year-old body, Shinichi watched the love of his life pack her things in a tiny red suitcase, ready to leave him in the past.

"Ran-neechan…" he had whispered while tugging on her skirt as she was about to board her plane.

They shared one last embrace, the sweet girl she was, telling him how much she would miss him there. And that was the end of it. The end of _them_.

He would receive the occasional phone call from her, mostly as "Conan-kun". She was always happy to talk to Conan, the little charge she took care of for almost two years. But she barely phoned Shinichi.

"It's still too painful," she'd said to him once in a text. And he'd agreed. It _was_ too painful. Heart-breaking. Agonizing. _Crushing_.

Shinichi, since then, had long moved back to the Kudou mansion. Although, only after Subaru-san decided it was time for him to find his own place to live. Kogoro had barely batted an eyelash at his decision, simply raising his usual can of beer to him with a loud "Take care of yourself, kid". After all, he firmly believed his "freeloader" was moving in with the professor and his school girl friend.

Agasa and Haibara had indeed invited him to stay with them, both knowing how difficult everything had been and still was for him. But he refused. If there was one thing Shinichi didn't want to face, it was the unconscious looks of _pity_ and _concern_ his closest friends would give him.

He was depressed, yes. Utterly devastated, even a year after the break-up. And Haibara still hadn't made any progress on finding the antidote. Conan was still here, and Shinichi seemed forever gone.

He was at his worst. But he kept everything hidden. Locked inside of him, where nobody could see.

Well, one person did. But Shinichi didn't really mind him. After all, he could barely _see_ him. They both shared that same kind of private personality, keeping this unspoken agreement that one would not question the other more than necessary. After all, it was a complete improbability for a detective and a thief to be _friends_.

Somehow though, Shinichi started to think they were.

" _We are not to get deeply involved into each other's affairs,"_ the other had told him that first night, " _but I'm a good listener, Tantei-kun."_

And listen he did. An entire night. Without uttering a single word. Until dawn came to bring them back to reality. And Conan became a little bit lighter. And Shinichi slowly resurfaced, a shadow of a smile on his child's lips.

 _Why did KID even make the effort of helping him, though?_ He couldn't tell for sure. Even after three years of knowing him, Shinichi still had a hard time reading the other's true intentions. The Phantom Thief was really a _mystery_ sometimes, even to the brilliant Heisei Holmes – as they all loved to call him.

However, Shinichi knew he could trust him. KID was one of the few who would only see him for who he really was, an unlucky teenager who ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and was now suffering with the consequences.

Before the shrunken version of himself, before the ridiculous public title he had, before everything other people thought he was, Shinichi was still a teenage guy. A young man with a broken heart. A young man with a broken life.

Someone who needed _support_ before _pity_ , _silence_ instead of _awkward_ _conversation_ … simple companionship.

And KID would always provide it. At least, every night there was a heist.

The Phantom Thief would always leave him with an extra riddle, safely hidden somewhere in the place he was targeting. And Shinichi would decipher it, before heading right away to their _lieu of rendez-vous._

These little KID's notes slowly became the only thing keeping him afloat, away from depression. The only thing he was looking forward to.

He no longer bothered giving his time and advice to Inspector Nakamori and the KID's taskforce. After all, he gave up on catching the moonlight magician a long time ago. He _knew_ he wouldn't catch him. Not because he was an elusive thief, no. He wouldn't catch him, because Kaitou KID was just too important to him now.

 _How ironic, wasn't it?_ The one unpredictable thing – _man_ in his life was the only stable thing he had going. He could already picture it: wide eyes staring at him as he would stand before them, stating loud and clear how KID The Phantom Thief was his only constant – the only one keeping him from falling into oblivion. And still, they wouldn't understand. Because, really, who cares about the heart of the infamous detective Kudou Shinichi?

If he wasn't feeling so depressed right now, he would have laughed at how ridiculous he sounded. Instead, he just let out a tired sigh escape his lips, staring aimlessly at the city lights surrounding Haido City Hotel.

Before, he would have enjoyed it. Alone and free on this empty rooftop, the cool feel of the wind on his back, silence enveloping him, while he would watch the lights flicker in front of his eyes.

But that was before.

Now, waiting alone on an empty rooftop was only leaving him with _too much_ time to think. And _too many_ things to think about… _Ran, Haibara, the Black Organisation, Gin, Vermouth, Ran, that damn pill, Edogawa Conan, the lies, Ran, KID's hang-glider, Ran, and…_ Why was KID flying away right now? Weren't they supposed to meet here tonight?

Brow furrowed in a deep frown, Shinichi stared at the white triangle fading away in the night, before pulling out the little note he kept in his jacket's pocket. Confused and intrigued, he started reading slowly the puzzle he had deciphered a few hours ago, looking for anything that would tell him he got the wrong place.

But no. He didn't.

KID and Conan were to meet on top of the Haido City Hotel rooftop after the thief's heist, which was a few miles away from the building. He only had time to make sure Nakamori and his police officers were surrounding the place and keeping KID's fans away, before taking off on his skateboard so as to not be late. And now KID was standing him up? Why?

Puzzled, annoyed, and somewhat worried, he placed the note back in his pocket, hopping off the ledge he was previously sitting on, before walking to the exit door.

"No point to linger here. KID's not coming," he whispered to himself, a tinge of disappointment in his voice.

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TBC?

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Hello Minna-san~

Ok so. First of all, this has been written like...weeks ago? But I couldn't bring myself to post it, because I didn't know (and still dont) where this is going.

That aside, this is so very different from my usual fluffy, cute, funny stories - at least for now, and I hope you enjoyed the read nonetheless! Do not worry, I do not intend to keep the angst... that is if I do continue the story (it could very well end here ^.^")

You know the drill, leave a Kudou or Kuroba, comment like there's no tomorrow - and be ready to get a heartfelt long-ass reply in return ;)

See you next illusion~

Zai.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the end of December and he was _cold._ Hell, he was _freezing_. It had been snowing in Tokyo for the last two days and it didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. Well, it had for the last few hours, but one could never be certain when it would start again. And though he hated winter, Kaito had forced himself to send a KID's heist notice to Nakamori and the rest of Division Two. For what reason? _Well…_ Kaito smiled as he pictured a very small, very annoyed chibi tantei in his mind. _Yep_ , he was meeting Meitantei tonight.

So here he was, in his double-coated KID's suit - he had to find a way to warm himself up, heat patches helped but only a little - standing tall on the glass case keeping his night's target safe. _Not for long_ , he thought as he started taunting the police task force with this annoying grin Kaitou KID always wore.

"KID! You won't escape today, you hear me!", he heard Nakamori-keibu shouting while the rest of the officers surrounded him.

He let out a small laugh, his smirk widening as he gazed down at the Inspector with an indulgent look. How many times had the man said that to the Phantom Thief now? He couldn't even remember. One thing was certain though: He would escape them again tonight. _Like always._

"My, my, Inspector," he started, the precious jewel appearing between his fingers with a twist of his wrist, "I would love to make your dream come true, unfortunately, I ought to take my leave now."

Without further ado, he dropped out a tiny flash bomb from his sleeve, his other hand pushing down his top-hat on his eyes to protect them from the light. He stayed still on the case for two seconds, watching the officers move around it like headless chickens before finding his exit path to the emergency staircase. A chuckle escaped his lips as he heard Nakamori-keibu yelling a frustrated "KID" to his back before the door closed on full darkness.

Tucking the jewel away in his chest pocket, Kaito quickly locked the door before pulling out his phone to check the time. _9:37pm_. He had exactly eight minutes to climb two flights of stairs, run through an empty dark corridor for two meters, enter the storage room and fly away from its window. _Easy peasy_ , he thought as he turned on the flashlight from his phone and started his climb.

Keeping his breathing steady, Kaito was somewhat glad to be running like a madman right now. At least he wasn't feeling too cold now. He paused at the top of the staircase, glancing at the time before opening the heavy door. Five more minutes to get out of the museum. Then he would go meet Tantei-kun.

A small smile tugged his lips as he thought of the little detective. Kaito has made certain to arrange another one of their now usual moonlight rendez-vous for this heist. After all, he hadn't seen Meitantei for more than three weeks, and in all honesty, Kaito had been missing him.

He chuckled at his own thoughts, not even phased by the idea of actually _missing_ the one and only Kudou Shinichi. God, his life had truly taken an interesting turn since he's taken on his father's mantle, hadn't it? Then again, Kaito wasn't really complaining. He's always liked Tantei-kun. The sleuth has been a welcome change in his nightlife; at first, challenging him at every corner, and now, being closer to him than anyone else in his entourage. Of course, Kaito had never voiced it to the detective - he was simply Kaitou KID, the eternal Phantom Thief, to the Great Detective of the East. How could he have possibly revealed anything about himself? No, Kaito had kept his feelings for himself even when their relationship had shifted from mere rivals to… Even now, Kaito wasn't entirely sure. _Friends?_ No, that wasn't quite right. _Confident_ was most likely the closest to what Kaito felt he was to Meitantei. He was the ears and comfort Kudou had been waiting for, after years of paying for his carelessness.

 _"We are not to get deeply involved into each other's affairs, but I'm a good listener, Tantei-kun,"_ he'd said to the detective a few moons ago.

Kaito remembered that night like it was yesterday. His heist had been another success: Kaitou KID had left his dear police taskforce asleep on the second floor of the Mihochi museum and was escaping on his hang-glider when he'd spotted a shadow standing on the edge of Haido City Hotel. It had taken him two and a half seconds to realise the little form was his chibi tantei, and another second to shift his hang-glider to his new destination. Up until today, Kaito hadn't been sure of why he went to meet Meitantei that first night. Maybe - probably - because Edogawa Conan had looked _so lonely_ then.

That night, Tantei-kun had poured out all his feelings, spurting out random stories one after the other, opening up to the thief in a way Kaito wouldn't have thought was possible. Kudou Shinichi had removed the lid on the bottle he'd kept on filling up with lies, sorrows and regrets for the first time in years, and Kaito had silently shared his pain. He remembered not being able to mutter a single word for a long time, simply listening to Meitantei, as he'd kept on associating the detective's unfair suffering to his own. They had so much in common in so many different ways, and before that night, no one to share their burden with. Kaito had thus decided Kaitou KID would now be here for Meitantei to unload himself, and maybe, maybe, progressively, the thief would be able to do the same.

Three months later, the bond between them had grown stronger and Kaito had finally started to let more of his real self transpire behind the mask that was Kaitou KID. Meitantei had obviously noticed the change, not missing a bit when he'd flashed him one his genuine smile rather than KID's shit-eating grin, but he'd never said anything. Instead, Kaito had felt warm eyes answering his smile, almost as a silent thank you.

 _Thank you for trusting me._

Another chuckle escaped him as he forced himself out of his fond thoughts about Meitantei. He truly was grateful to have Kudou in his life, but if he wanted to see him tonight - and Kaito really wanted to - he would first need to get a move on and leave the place.

"I should try to make it in three," he challenged himself, half-amused by the easiness of his escape. "That or simply walk all the way to the room."

Still a bit undecided, Kaito simply took a few steps forward before stopping to a halt. There were shadows in the corridor. Shadows which weren't supposed to be here right now. Shadows that looked decidedly too human to his liking. Who were they? Police forces or?

Lifting up his phone to their direction, his eyes widened for a split second as he recognized them. _Snake_ , he growled internally as he forced his Poker Face to stay in place. They hadn't appeared to his heist for months and here they were.

"Why now?", he asked in a cool voice only KID would use in this situation.

"Why not?", came the easy answer.

Kaito watched the two men behind the serpent closely, eyeing the hands holding their guns, before gazing up at their ugly leader. He wanted to hurt him.

"I'm afraid I don't have time to play with you tonight," he simply said while pulling his card-gun out of thin air. _Meitantei's waiting for me in the freaking cold._

"Neither do we. Hand over the jewel and we won't kill you."

He felt his fingers twitch on the grip of his card-gun, his index finger pressing a bit more on the trigger. He'd only need to remove the safety to shoot at these annoying yellow teeth sneering at him. _Don't do it_ , he told himself, _find another way out. Remember the layout, Kaito._

"What would it be, Kaitou KID. The jewel or your life?"

"What assurance do I have you won't shoot me?"

He needed to buy some time. Left hand still holding his gun, he looked behind the three killers, thinking. The storage room was ten steps away from them. If he could get close enough, he would be able to gas them out and reach for it. That or go for the door right before them, though he'd have to unlock it in less than a second and lock it back right away. The chance of them firing at him in the process was too high a risk.

"Here's your assurance," Snake said, pulling him out of his thoughts. Kaito watched as he gave a quick nod to his two lackeys. He frowned when he saw them tilting their guns sideways, releasing the magazine before tossing everything to the floor.

"What about yours?", he asked suspiciously. There was no way Snake was unharmed.

"I'll do the same when you agree to give us the jewel."

It was fair, he thought. _Too_ fair for him to trust it. Hell, he would _never_ trust Snake. But he had to get out of here soon, and preferably alive. It's not like the jewel would be Pandora anyway. Plus he could always steal it back from them later.

Reaching out for the jewel with his right hand, Kaito raised it above his head, showing it to the criminal from where he stood.

"I shall send it your way once you drop your gun."

A nod, a smirk, and Kaito watched Snake's SIG P229 drop to his feet, the magazine sliding to his direction.

"Now give the jewel, KID."

And Kaito did. He tossed the gem in the air, eyes still locked on Snake and his henchmen. One of them caught the jewel just before it hit the floor, and Kaito found himself holding his breath as he saw Snake pulling a small Beretta from his back. _Fuck._

"I said we won't kill you tonight, but well, I never said we wouldn't hurt you, right?"

 _The bastard_. Gritting his teeth, Kaito dashed in their direction, eyes fixed on the pistol threatening his life, throwing two small cans to the floor while sliding down to avoid the first shot. He felt himself tackling one of the men - thank you, Lady Luck - before rising up to sprint towards the storage room, avoiding two other shots. Another body fell behind him, courtesy of his sleeping gas, and he heard an angry yell when the third body hit the floor, one last shot grazing his left leg. He hissed at the burning sensation but didn't take the time to check the wound. He made his way inside the storage room and fled through the window without a moment's hesitation.

 _Meitantei's waiting for me_ , he thought again, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he activated his hang-glider and jumped.

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TBC...

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Hello Minna-san~

Em. It took me a long while to finish this chapter - for various reasons - but here it is! I sure hope it was a good read and that you keep following this fic, however long I take to finish it.

To those still in doubts, I promise there is a happy ending for this fic ;)

See you next chapter~

Zai.


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